Tennessee Parenting Time (Child Visitation): Mediation Before Litigation
Emotions run so high in disputes over child visitation that violence can erupt during these confrontations. In Tennessee, the time that both the custodial and non-custodial parents are allocated with a child is now referred to as "parenting time". In fact, in Tennessee and Memphis family law matters, the term custody has been replaced by designating one parent as the "primary residential parent". Sadly, as one of our retired and now deceased judges, Hon. Wyeth Chandler, used to comment: " It's often like two dogs fighting over one bone."
There is much that can be done outside of the courtroom to resolve these thorny issues. First and foremost, the parties should try their best to sit down and put their own personal issues aside while concentrating on what is in the child's best interests. If parents were not divorcing and still lived together in one home, hopefully that is what they would do in the first place. Memphis family and divorce lawyers often will sit down with their client's in an attempt to do just this before going to war when a truce would better serve their clients needs. Additionally, mediation has become a cost efficient method to bring the parties together on parenting issues. I have acted as mediator for many years in a number of these disputes. Having the perspective of both a divorce lawyer and a mediator has allowed me to come to a conclusion.
Absent child or sexual abuse, most of these battles are less about the welfare of the kids and more about the parents' competing needs. Secondarily, the only one who wins in these battles is the lawyer. In an attempt to throw water on visitation related fires, the courts now require mediation within 120 days after a case is filed. Also, the parties must either agree on a Permanent Parenting Plan or submit to the Judge, for his or her approval, their own versions of a Plan. While the completion of this long and involved document hs increased the cost of divorce cases, it is intended to forestall future problems by providing for all of the expected future needs of the children.
A part of the Plan is a provision to select a method of dispute resolution respecting the children or other issues. Court is always there and , in my opinion, should be considered as the last option. Ask you lawyer, counselor or minister for a recommendation as to who could best mediate your divorce or visitation case. It may be an answer that will save you and your children from needless strife. It can also save you a fortune in attorney's fees.
